Transcript
Once You Stop Talking To Yourself, The Shift Happens
Solace Owl
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22,512 views 24 Dec 2024
It’s always there, isn’t it? The voice in your head. It talks to you when you wake up. It tells you what kind of day you’re about to have before you’ve even brushed our teeth. It replays yesterday’s mistakes, whispers fears about tomorrow, and ritiques every move you make at the moment. It’s always there—persistent, relentless, and frankly, exhausting. But here’s the thing: that voice isn’t you.
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Transcript
People don’t realize that a significant part of the unhappiness in their lives is actually generated by often destructive mind activity.
It’s always there isn’t it the voice in your head it talks to you when you wake up it tells you what kind of day you’re about to have before you’ve even brushed your teeth it replays yesterday’s mistakes Whispers fears about tomorrow and critiques every move you make at the moment it’s always there persistent Relentless and frankly exhausting.
But here’s the thing that voice isn’t you the cage of endless chatter this truth is unsettling at first after all we’ve been conditioned to believe that our thoughts are sacred and that they Define who we are if you think about it isn’t that what every self-help book or well-meaning Mentor suggests change your thoughts change your life but what if the problem isn’t your thoughts what if it’s the fact that you’re talking to yourself at all this incessant dialogue.
The Voice you think is you isn’t a helpful guide or wise counselor it’s a cage one made not of iron or steel but of words and the bars of this cage are built from judgment fears complaints and comparisons. Imagine for a moment you’re sitting by a calm Clear Lake the surface is so still it mirrors the sky above reflecting the infinite expanse of the universe but then you throw a pebbleinto the water and ripples distort the surface suddenly the lake can’t reflect the sky anymore the voice in your head is like that Pebble constant restless and disruptive it keeps the still away your mind is like that overflowing cup it’s so full of its own chatter its need to label analyze and interpret that it leaves no space for anything new not Joy not Clarity not the peace.
You’ve been seeking earth Toler refers to this as the pain body describing it as a concept tied to negative emotions and the narratives we internalize when you replay an argument.
Imagine worst case scenarios or judge yourself harshly the pain body grows stronger over time it becomes a phantom self a shadow version of you that lives in fear doubt and suffering yet this false self feels real doesn’t it feels so real that you might mistake it for your true self after all who else could it be?
But let me ask you this if you were truly one with this voice who is it that hears the voice pause for a moment and really consider that who hears The Voice in the space between those words you might Glimpse something remarkable you might sense a quiet observing presence something deeper than thought quieter than words and infinitely more stable than the chatter of the mind.
That presence is the real you in Hindu philosophy this presence is often described as the Atman considered an eternal self Beyond material turbulence in Christian teachings it’s akin to the still small voice of God ever present beneath the noise and in the Taoist tradition it’s the TOA the way that flows naturally effortlessly without the interference of thought.
The Mind resists this truth because it loves its own noise it wants to dissect categorize and control but the mind’s nature is imbalanced it sways from past to Future from Hope to despair never resting in the now.
That imbalance is why we suffer when you’re caught in this imbalance even small irritations become unbearable you get stuck in traffic and the voice in your head spins a story about disrespect wasted time or unfairness you glance at social media and the voice Compares your life to others fueling jealousy or inadequacy.
These aren’t the situations themselves causing your unhappiness it’s the thoughts about them.
A Course in Miracles; Puts it bluntly nothing real can be threatened nothing unreal exists herein lies the peace of God your thoughts about the world are not the world itself they are projections Shadows on the wall of a cave as Plato described in his famous allegory.
You can’t see the light when you’re focused on the Shadows here’s the secret the moment you stop talking to yourself even for an instant the shift begins you taste Freedom you step out of the cage of endless chatter and into a vast open field of awareness this doesn’t mean silencing your mind by force fighting the voice only makes it louder instead.
It’s about becoming aware of The Voice without attaching to it it’s about listening to the lake rather than throwing more pebbles in the words of roomi; silence is the language of God all else is poor translation when you let go of the inner dialogue you start to hear that silence it’s not an absence it’s fullness it’s peace you might feel resistance as you begin to practice this awareness.
The Voice will say you can’t live without me you need me to plan solve survive but the truth is the
deeper presence within you knows all this without the noise just as the sun doesn’t need a clock to rise you don’t need constant thinking to live as you sit with this idea let yourself wonder
who am I beyond the Voice. Who am I when the Mind grows quiet these questions aren’t meant to be answered they are meant to be lived to be explored in the Stillness that lies just beyond the noise.
What happens when you look into a still mirror you see yourself exactly as you are no Distortion no embellishment the clarity is undeniable but what happens when the mirror is cracked the mirror of Stillness your reflection becomes fragmented untrue a poor echo of reality this is what the voice in your head does to your sense of self it’s a cracked mirror offering you distorted versions of who you are. It Whispers you’re not enough you need to prove yourself you have to fix this or everything will fall apart and because this voice is so loud so insistent you believe it but who were you before you learn to listen to this voice.
Think back to your childhood can you recall a moment when you were LLY present running through a field drawing with crayons or laughing so hard your stomach hurt in those moments you weren’t narrating your life you simply were that’s the state of being.
Your true self longs to return to Stillness Simplicity and presence.
In Buddhism this state is called Sati or mindfulness it’s the art of Being fully aware of the present moment without judgment or commentary. When the Buddha sat under the bod tree and attained Enlightenment he didn’t do it by arguing with his thoughts he simply observed them letting them pass like clouds across the sky but let’s be honest in the modern world silence feels impossible your phone buzzes emails pour in and the world screams for your attention.
Even when you try to sit quietly the inner voice ramps up filling the Silence with its noise it’s tempting to give up to believe that Stillness is an illusion but here’s the truth.
The busier your mind the more desperately it craves silence this craving for silence isn’t new thousands of years ago Lau wrote do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear can you remain unmoving until the right action arises by itself.
These ancient words hold a profound key the more you chase Clarity the further it Slips Away.
True Stillness comes when you stop chasing stop controlling and simply be consider the story of the man who approached a monk desperate to learn the secret of Enlightenment the monk told him to sit by a river and listen the man grew frustrated after hours of hearing nothing but the sound of water this is pointless he exclaimed the monk smiled and replied when you stop looking for meaning you’ll hear everything.
This story points point to a radical truth Stillness isn’t something you achieve it’s something you remember it’s already within you waiting beneath the noise.
But how do you find Stillness when the voice in your head refuses to stop start by noticing The Voice without engaging it imagine you’re sitting in a theater watching a movie the scenes unfold on the screen but you’re not part of them you’re the audience not the actor the same is true for your thoughts they play out in your mind but they aren’t you.
When you practice this you might feel a flicker of discomfort The Voice might grow louder trying to pull you back into its grip it might whisper this is pointless you’re wasting time you’ll never find peace don’t fight it.
Fighting the voice only gives it power instead gently remind yourself that you are the Observer not the observed in Christianity this practice is often called a centering prayer a silent communion with God where words fall away and only presence Remains the mystics spoke of finding the peace that surpasses all understanding. A peace that arises not from thinking but from surrendering the need to think if this sounds difficult remember that you don’t have to master it overnight even a single moment of silence a breath a heartbeat a pause can begin to unravel the chains of inner chatter.
Imagine holding a glass of Muddy Water if you keep shaking it the mud will stay suspended clouding the water but if you set the glass down and leave it undisturbed the mud will settle and the water will become clear your mind works the same way. The more you struggle against your thoughts the more chaotic they become but when you let them be Clarity emerges naturally.
This Clarity is where the ship happens in Hindu philosophy there’s a beautiful analogy of the lotus flower the Lotus grows in muddy water yet its petals remain pristine Untouched by the muck your true self is like the Lotus Untouched by the noise of your thoughts. No matter how chaotic they may seem when you stop identifying with the voice in your head you begin to experience this Purity you see the world as it is. Not as the voice in interprets it a tree is no longer just beautiful or ugly it simply is a moment is no longer good or bad it’s simply now.
This shift doesn’t mean you stop thinking altogether thoughts will come just as clouds drift across the sky but instead of clinging to them you let them pass you stop mistaking them for reality at first this might feel like stepping into the unknown the voice in your head has been your constant companion for so long that its absence can feel unsettling but as the silence deepens you’ll discover something extraordinary you’ll find that Stillness isn’t empty it’s full of Peace full of presence full of life and as you rest in that Stillness you’ll begin to see yourself clearly for the first time not as the cracked reflection of the voice but as the unshakable presence behind it.
This is the beginning of Freedom the first step out of the cage in the Stillness you’ll realize that the shift isn’t something that happens to you it’s something that has always been waiting for you.
The voice and the void there’s a profound moment in everyone’s spiritual journey when they realize the voice in their head has been living rentree for far too long.
It’s like catching an Uninvited Guest rummaging through your cupboards making messes and demanding attention you stop and think why am I letting this happen this is the beginning of what some philosophies call the void the space where the voice no longer holds the power it once did.
For many the idea of this void feels terrifying if you’re not the voice in your head who are you what’s left when the chatter stops but what if the void isn’t empty at all what if it’s overflowing with everything you’ve been searching for in the Taoist tradition the void is not a Barren nothingness but the womb of infinite possibility the TA Ching says we shape clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want.
The void is like that pot it isn’t about what’s missing but about the space that allows life to flow in its fullness to understand this imagine standing in a dense forest the trees are so tightly packed that sunlight struggles to reach the ground in the same way your inner voice can become so overgrown with thoughts that it blocks the light of awareness but when you begin to quiet The Voice you create space the trees thin out the sunlight streams through and suddenly you can see where you’re standing.
This realization doesn’t mean the voice disappears overnight it’s been part of your life for so long that it feels like an old friend even if it’s more like a toxic one the key isn’t to fight the voice but to stop feeding it every time you argue with it. Analyze it or try to control it you’re handing it energy Instead try this listen to The Voice as if it’s a radio in the background it’s there but you don’t have to focus on it you can hear its opinions its fears its endless critiques and then you can let them drift away just like static Fading Into silence.
In the Bible there’s a story of Elijah seeking God he expects to find the Divine in a great wind an earthquake or a fire but instead God comes to him in a still small voice. What if that voice isn’t a sound at all but the profound Stillness beneath all the noise this Stillness isn’t passive it’s alive vibrant and deeply intelligent it’s the source of intuition creativity and wisdom the qualities that get drowned out by the voices. Relentless monologue when you touch this Stillness you begin to experience life differently you stop reacting to every thought as if it’s the gospel truth here’s an example imagine you’re walking through a crowded Market the voice in your head might say it’s too noisy here I wish it were quieter. Look at that person staring at me they probably think I look ridiculous and before you know it you’re tense irritated and completely disconnected from the moment.
Now imagine the same Market but this time you’re observing The Voice without engaging with it you hear it complain about the noise but instead of agreeing or disagreeing you simply notice you see the faces around you hear the laughter and smell the spices in the air the chatter in your mind becomes background noise and the present moment comes alive in this state even chaos feels harmonious this is why so many spiritual Traditions emphasize practices like meditation prayer or mindful movement these aren’t just tools to calm the mind they’re ways to step into the void to recognize that the voice is not the master of your life.
One Zen Parable tells of a young monk who asked his master what is Enlightenment the master replied when hungry eat when tired sleep the monk was confused but doesn’t everyone do that he asked the master smiled and said no most people when hungry think of a thousand things when tired they resist sleep with endless worry.
Enlightenment is to Simply be; this is simply is where the shift deepens when you stop identifying with the voice a miraculous thing happens the fear it creates begins to dissolve fear can’t survive without constant storytelling it needs the voice to say this might happen that could go wrong you’re not ready for this but in the void there’s no room for those stories there’s only now and now is always safe. Consider a bird perched on a branch the bird doesn’t worry about whether the branch will hold its weight it simply rests trusting its ability to fly if the branch gives way in the same way the void teaches you to trust not in the guarantees of life but in your own capacity to respond to whatever life brings. This trust is the essence of surrender a concept that Mystics and sages have spoken of for centuries surrender isn’t about giving up it’s about giving in to the flow of life to the Stillness within to the truth that you are more than the voice in your head when you touch this truth you begin to notice something extraordinary the world doesn’t feel as heavy as it used to. Situations that once triggered you lose their grip you find yourself laughing at the absurdity of the voices Dramatics and in its place you feel a quiet Joy a sense of ease that was always there hidden beneath the noise the ship isn’t a single moment it’s a process a journey into the void where the voice loses its hold and you Re-Discover the fullness of Life.
The Journey is only just beginning the deeper you go the more you’ll see that the void isn’t empty at all it’s the mirror of Stillness reflecting who you truly are the heart beyond the noise have you ever sat in a room full of people yet felt utterly alone it’s not the absence of others that creates loneliness but the Relentless voice in your head that keeps you isolated from the present moment.
That voice convinces you that something is missing that you need to be different that others don’t truly see you it wraps you in a web of thoughts cutting you off from the deep connection you crave not only with others but with yourself.
What lies Beyond this noise something vast sacred and profoundly human the heart the heart doesn’t speak in words it doesn’t argue judge or create elaborate stories its language is simpler and quieter it’s a pull toward connection a warmth that flows when you’re fully present but to hear the heart you must first quiet the mind in Hindu philosophy this is the essence of Atma. The Soul’s connection to the universe the sages teach that the heart is not just a physical organ but a spiritual center the seat of true awareness while the Mind Chatters endlessly the heart remains steady A Silent Witness to the EB and flow of life. When you stop identifying with the voice in your head you begin to hear the heart’s whisper and this whisper holds a truth that no thought can touch.
You are already enough this realization can feel startling at first after all the voice in your head thrives on convincing you otherwise it tells you that your worth is tied to your accomplishments your relationships and your ability to meet the expectations of the world but when you listen to the heart you see through this illusion consider the story of the prodigal son from the Bible a young man demands his inheritance leaves his father’s house and squanders everything ashamed and broken he returns home expecting anger or rejection instead his father welcomes him with open arms celebrating his return. The story isn’t just about forgiveness it’s a parable about remembering your inherent
worth no matter how far you’ve strayed from yourself the heart is always waiting ready to welcome you back to return to the heart.
You don’t need to fight the voice in your head fighting only strengthens its grip instead you learn to disarm it by shifting your attention imagine sitting by a campfire the Flames Flicker and dance mesmerizing and bright but beyond the fire there’s a vast night sky filled with stars the fire is your thoughts compelling but limited the stars are your heart infinite and boundless when you focus on the fire the Stars seem to disappear but when you lift your gaze the fire’s pull Fades and the vastness of the sky comes into view the same is true for the heart.
It’s always there waiting for you to lift your attention beyond the noise one way to reach connect with the heart is through gratitude this isn’t the forced surface level gratitude of I should be thankful for this. True gratitude arises when you pause and feel the miracle of what’s here now the air in your lungs the warmth of the Sun the sound of a bird singing.
Gratitude isn’t something you think about it’s something you feel the Sufi poet roomi wrote wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life gratitude quiets the voice in your head because it pulls you into the present moment where the heart resides another way to access the heart is through compassion.
This begins with yourself when the voice in your head criticizes you judges you or tries to convince you that you’re unworthy respond with kindness imagine you’re comforting a frightened child would you scold them for being scared or would you hold them gently and tell them it’s okay when you treat yourself with this same gentleness the voice in your head loses its power you stop believing its harsh judgments and start seeing yourself as the heart.
Sees you whole deserving of love and deeply human this compassion naturally extends to others when you’re no longer trapped in the voices stories you see people more clearly you notice their struggles their Joys their Humanity. You feel a natural urge to connect not from a place of need but from a place of abundance.
In Buddhism this is known as meta or loving kindness It’s the practice of radiating love toward yourself those you cherish and even those who challenge you the voice in your head May resist this at first Whispering they don’t deserve your kindness you’ll just get hurt but the heart knows better it knows that love isn’t something you give or withhold based on conditions.
It’s who you are as you rest more in the heart something extraordinary begins to happen the world feels lighter the burdens you once carried the fear the doubt the need for control start to fall away you laugh more easily breathe more deeply and find joy in the smallest moments.
This shift doesn’t mean life becomes perfect challenges will still arise and the voice in your head will still try to pull you back into its stories but now you have a choice you can listen to The Voice or return to the heart returning to the heart isn’t a one-time event it’s a practice a dance.
Some days The Voice will be loud and the heart will feel distant on other days the heart will shine so brightly that the voice seems to vanish the key is to keep choosing the heart again and again as you do you’ll discover something profound the heart is not separate from the still you’ve been seeking it is the Stillness it’s the place where the voice Falls silent and the fullness of Life rushes in. It’s where the shift becomes not just a moment but a way of being this is the heart’s invitation to live beyond the noise to rest in the truth of who you are and to let life flow through you with ease and Grace. Living the shift the moment you stop talking to yourself isn’t the end of the journey it’s the beginning in that moment you step into a new way of being.
You’ve glimpsed the Stillness beneath the noise felt the vastness of the heart and realized you are more than the voice in your head but now comes the real question how do you live this shift living the shift is not about perfection it’s not about silencing the voice in your head forever or never feeling fear or doubt Again.
The Voice will return as persistent as ever Whispering its familiar Tales of inadequacy fear and separation but the difference is that now you see it for what it is a shadow not your true self in the Bhagavad Gita Krishna advises Arjuna perform your duty with equinity abandon attachment to success and failure this wisdom isn’t about Detachment from life but about living with Clarity when you stop attaching your identity to the voice in your head.
You free yourself to live fully without fear of failure or the need for constant validation you begin to understand that life is not about controlling every outcome instead it’s about showing up in the present moment trusting the flow and responding from a place of inner peace.
One of the most powerful ways to live the shift is through mindfulness isn’t just a
practice it’s a way of life it’s the art of Being fully here.
Fully now when you’re mindful you don’t get lost in thoughts about the past or future you engage with what’s right in front of you with all your senses all your attention and all your heart imagine you’re drinking a cup of tea the voice in your head might rush you through the experience thinking about your to-do list or replaying an earlier conversation but when you’re mindful you feel the warmth of the cup in your hands you taste the subtle flavors smell the aroma and hear the
sound of the liquid pouring.
A simple act becomes a profound experience this is the beauty of mindfulness it turns the ordinary into the extraordinary another way to live the shift is through service when you stop being consumed by your own mental chatter you create space to truly see others you begin to notice their needs
their struggles and their Humanity acts of kindness flow naturally.
Not because you’re trying to be good but because the Stillness within you recognizes the Stillness within them in the words of St Francis of aisi it is in giving that we receive when you serve others you feel the interconnectedness of all life you realize that the barriers your mind created the stories of Separation competition and scarcity were never real.
Living the shift also means embracing The Mystery of Life The Voice in your head craves certainty answers and control it wants to know why things happen where they’re leading and what will come next but the heart thrives in the unknown.
Mystics across Traditions speak of surrendering to the mystery roomi wrote try not to resist the changes that come your way instead let life live through you and do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come when you live the shift you stop clinging to old narratives and allow life to unfold as it will this doesn’t mean you stop making plans or setting goals but you hold them lightly you trust that even when life takes unexpected turns it’s guiding you toward growth healing and deeper connection.
As you navigate this new way of being you may encounter moments of doubt the voice in your head might say this is too hard you’re fooling yourself go back to the way things were but these moments are not setbacks they are opportunities each time you notice the voice and choose not to engage you strengthen your connection to the Stillness.
Within the great zen teacher shunu Suzuki said you are perfect just as you are and you could use a little Improvement this Paradox captures the essence of living the shift you don’t have to fix yourself because at your core you are already whole but as you grow in Awareness you naturally align more with the truth of who you are one day you’ll look back and realize that the shift didn’t happen all at once. It unfolded Moment by moment Choice by choice each time you chose to step out of the voices stories and into the present moment you moved closer to freedom.
Freedom is The Ultimate Gift of the shift not freedom from life’s challenges but Freedom within them. When The Voice no longer controls you challenges become opportunities to grow fear becomes a doorway to courage loss becomes a teacher of love.
This is the Paradox of the shift by letting go of the voice in your head you find yourself more deeply connected to life you’re no longer watching from behind a veil of thoughts you’re fully engaged Fully Alive. Remember that the shift is not something you achieve it’s something you embody it’s a way of being a way of seeing being a way of living it’s the realization that you are not the voice in your head but the Stillness the heart the presence that lies Beyond it and in that realization you discover the truth that has been there all along you are the shift you are the Stillness. You are the Light breaking through the noise when you stop talking to yourself the shift happens and when the shift happens life becomes a mirror reflecting back the beauty the peace and the love that you’ve always been.
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